Ch. 3

Although Taylor only briefly brought up the drastic difference in rates between  intra-racial marriage and inter-racial marriage and the concept of racialized relationship capital, it definitely resonated with me. I can recall so many conversations or situations that are a direct consequence of "....deeply ingrained, subtly established, and thoroughly racialized preferences about romance, eroticism, status, and beauty" (83). For instance, when my cousin had a black boyfriend, my uncle was so upset and angry and quite a few people told her that she should "stick to white boys." I can also remember when  I was eight and my good family friend brought her black friend up to her parent's cabin house for a weekend. It was a gathering of a bunch of people who my parents grew up and went to school with as well as their families. A lot of them are pretty conservative rednecks, which I only came to realize as I got older and my parents would get into heated conversations with them. I watched these people I'd grown up around either making snide remarks or talking about how 'brave' she was to bring her friend to her parent's cabin, which struck me as absurd. It was very disturbing to hear people who'd been in my life since infancy express such blatant prejudice.

Most recently, I was having a conversation with a friend, who is pretty liberal and open-minded--or so I thought--and the topic of inter-racial dating and marriage came up. He told me how he thought inter-racial couples were "weird" and didn't understand how they could they be attracted to each other. He said he could objectively say that a black woman is good-looking, but he would never be physically or emotionally attracted to her. I tried to push back, arguing that it's not as though we're different species and love doesn't stem from looking similar, but he wouldn't budge in his view. His own defiance against the possibility and investment in social constructs prevents him from finding black women attractive, not a natural inclination.  I was completely shocked by the obvious distaste in his voice and how adamant he was. I never would've thought that he would express such views, and it made me realize just how prevalent this attitude is and how I've even lapsed into a milder version of this viewpoint at times. Cultural differences and racialized social differences do not make us so fundamentally different that it's strange or wrong to develop friendship or feelings for people who fall in other racial categories other than our own.

As Taylor pointed out that to a large degree we are "...still committed to producing and reproducing racially homogenous populations" (83). What's more, we still rely so heavily upon racialized symbolic value and the stereotypes that are products of this. I sometimes find myself thinking in stereotypical terms, and I have to be constantly vigilant to keep myself from falling into these easy patterns of differentiation that permeate our society.