White Like Me Chs. 1-2

I keep thinking about my own responsibility for my white privilege  and the idea of treating it as an asset: "if you get to use an asset, you have to pay the debt accumulated, which allowed the asset to exist in the first place" (24-25).  If we truly wanted to move on and forget what happened, call the past the past, that would imply that whites have to give up the benefits incurred by virtue of their white skin, which would never happen. I keep thinking about just how inundated I am by white supremacy and "white reality." It's startling to look back upon past experiences with a critical eye and realize just how racialized daily life is. And the only reason I've been able to overlook this reality is because I'm white. When I look back at my passive participation in this racist system, it's upsetting to think about how I was able to overlook subtle and systemic racism, while overt racism always incited anger in me. I can remember getting into heated fights with classmates over race and prejudice, but never really digging deeper into why the black kids tended to hang out with the black kids and the Asians hung out with the Asians, never questioning my own circle of mostly white friends and just how racialized my own life was/is. Even though I lived for eight years in Chester and had black neighbors and black friends, I went to mostly white private school, and this "social separation" only increased as time went on. By high school, in a mostly white neighborhood and school district, the most interaction with minorities came through the "A Better Chance" program, which brought  Hispanic and black students from inner cities to attend our high school. There were GPA requirements and they lived in houses with strict rules and were assigned mostly white host families. The bus I took home every day also stopped at the ABC houses, and  a lot of  verbal and/or physical fights often broke out on the bus.  I also remember hearing some of the complaints about how some of the ABC students "took advantage" of their white host families' generosity, demanding material items or money, accepting gifts without gratitude. As if they were expected to be grateful for misplaced liberal guilt. I remember how outraged I felt originally upon hearing all of this, but now I've come to realize just how much my white privilege blinded me to the vulnerable and racialized position the ABC students were placed in. This whole situation reminds me of the scenario Wise talked about when his friends called him "my nigger": "a cat and mouse routine where the white boy doesn't realize he's being used... in the same way some folks had long been used, and were still being used everyday" (37). These students were scrutinized both in their behavior and in their academic performance, with the threat of begin kicked out of the ABC house if they violated any of the rules hanging over their heads, and the unspoken expectation that they be grateful of this chance this white community had so generously given them. As I reflect on the true power dynamics of the program, it's quite clear to me that once again  whites have the upper hand and dictate the rules. The program is flawed, not because the students abuse it, but because of its white savior complex. I think this book is really good for us to read, particularly for the white students in the class, because it can help us realize just how much our skin color benefits us on a daily basis and forces us to reexamine experiences from a racial perspective.